Direktor, vodja in pripravnik so se odpravili na kosilo in
gredoc po parku nenadoma zagledajo staro oljno svetilko.
Ko jo podrgnejo, se iz nje v dimu prikaze duh.
Duh spregovori: “Ponavadi izpolnim tri zelje; torej povejte,
kaj si zelite!” “Najprej jaz, najprej jaz!”, se oglasi pripravnik.
Zelim si biti na Bahamih,prevazati se po morju z gliserjem in
pozabiti na vse skrbi!”. Puf in izgine! “Zdaj pa jaz, zdaj pa jaz!
zavpije vodja ves presenecen. “Naj bom na plazi na Havajih,
daj mi osebno maserko, zraven pa neskoncno zalogo Pine colade in
poleg mene ljubezen mojega zivljenja!” Puf in izgine tudi on!
“Zdaj pa se ti”, se duh obrne k direktorju.”
“Glej”, pravi direktor, “da bosta tadva na delovnem mestu se pred kosilom!”

MORALA ZGODBE: Direktor naj ima vedno prvo besedo!

> >Novi hrvatski slovar
> >
> >Suprug .Jebenik
> >Ljubavnik………Dojebnik
> >Advokat………..Zajebnik
> >Tata…………….Mamojeb
> >Telegraf………..Brzoglas
> >Automobil……..Samovoz
> >Tramvaj………..Munjovoz
> >Bioskop………..Slikokaz
> >Jebivetar……….Zrakoprc
> >Vrabac………….Zrnojed
> >Grom……………Zrakotres
> >Munja…………..Zrakobljes
> >Petao……………Zoroklik
> >Helikopter……..Zrakomlat
> >Akumulator……Munjosprem
> >Ulica…………….Samovoznica
> >Televizija……….Slikomicnica
> >Hardver………..Tvrdotvorina
> >Softver…………Mekotvorina
> >Monitor…………Prikazbenik
> >Klavir……….Rukopipajuce milodrndalo
> >Kravata……Okolovratno dopupkalo
> >Svinja……..Milogojno blatobrckalo
> >Kompas……Gvozdotezna sjevernica
> >Nevreme…..Zrakotresno zrakobljeskalo
> >Hard disk….Cigrasto velepamtilo
> >Mis (racunarski)…Nadstolno guromicalo
> >Stolica……..Cetveronozno podguzalo
> >
> >Peder………Otpozadni miloklizni gospodin
> >
> >Ovca……….Okolokucno cetveronozno travocupkalo
> >
> >Cobanin……Nadstojnik okolokucnog cetveronoznog travocupkala
> >
> >Dipl.Ing.Elektrotehnike… Osvjedodzbeni spretnik munjarstva
> >
> >Bicikl………Dvokotacno nozno okretalo sa guznim podupiracem
> >
> >Kocijas……Visokosjedeci pod rep konju gledajuci gospodin

Če vam je vsec kontakt vasega telesa ob drugo telo, ce vas ne moti vonj
potu, ce dobro prenasate dihanje na uho ali za ovratnik ali na lice, če vam ugajajo vedno novi polozaji, ce radi vstopate spredaj in zadaj, ce vam ni odvec dvigovanje, spuscanje, vstopanje, izstopanje, ce vas ne moti, da vstopate hladni in izstopate vroci,….

…potem potujte z avtobusi mestnega prometa in uzitkov vam ne bo nikoli
zmanjkalo!!

Uciteljica 6. razreda OS vprasa ucence:

“Kateri del cloveskega telesa se poveca za 10x, ko je stimuliran?”
Nihce ni odgovoril dokler ni mala Maja vstala, besna, in rekla:
“ne bi smeli sprasevati sestosolcov take stvari, zatozila vas bom starsem in boste leteli s sole!”
Potem je sedla, uciteljica pa jo preprosto ignorira in se enkrat ponovi vprasanje. Po dolgi tisini vstane mali Miki in odgovori:
“Del telesa, ki se poveca za 10x ko je stimuliran je ocesna zenica.”
“Zelo dobro, Miki”, rece trsica in se obrne k Maji, “Zate mlada dama pa imam samo tri stavke…
Prvic: imas umazane misli.
Drugic: nisi naredila domace naloge.
In tretjic: nekega dne bo? ZELO, ZELO razocarana”

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young Secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple’s multimillion dollar home, and since the man’s lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning &mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit… Repairmen refused to work in the house…The maid quit…

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back…

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth… But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home…..including the curtain rods.

I love a happy ending, don’t you???